SHUT UP!

That's a bit bold & rude, sorry. But I really have to say that because a lot of people need to hear that. SHUT UP.

1. Arguments, misunderstandings and disagreements

I try to do my very best and do as much as I can for everyone (at least I feel so) but no one understands. I try so hard and people think it comes easily to me?! They do not know how hard I try and how much I miss out on. 

2. Insomnia 

I can't sleep at night until 4am for almost a week. I could just lay on the bed, having many thoughts running through my head d for hours. Stress? Maybe. It's disturbing my life. And insomnia is causing me to have bad mood swings, mainly around people who mean the most to me - my family. 

3. I miss being happy

Being happy was once the easiest thing for me. I used to be a happy-go-lucky girl, constantly laughing and being surrounded by people I loved and loved me.
Now? Not so much anymore. I'm always so upset by things. I get annoyed and pissed of easily. Things people say, things people do. I don't want to feel this way. 

4. From nice to mean

I feel I've became very mean and I hate myself for it. When I'm angry, I tend to behave very rudely which hurts my parents. I don't even love to deal with myself who is becoming mean, defensive, irritable and unreasonable. I need to stop. Or else I'll be alone for the rest of my life. 

I want to be my old kind self. She is lost in somewhere, I need to find her back.